This speech was delivered by Ms. Anaditha M. Angcay last March 16, 2010, Little Theater, University of the Philippines–Manila in a forum organized by the UP Collegiate Association of Speech Pathologists for Women’s Month.
It's a privilege for me to meet you all today. I am Ma. Anaditha M. Angcay, 4th year Bachelor in Applied Deaf Studies specializing in Business Entrepreneurship from De La Salle-College of Saint Benilde School of Deaf Education and Applied Studies.
This is my first time to share in front of a big audience since my valedictory speech in high school. I want to say thank you for inviting me here.
I just want to share with you my experience how I survived as a Deaf woman.
Let me start by telling you that my mother was a GRO. I am her fifth child but her only child to my Japanese father. That makes me half Japanese and half Filipino. I was born pure Deaf in Manila, Philippines.
As a child, I was very quiet because nobody in my family knew how to communicate in sign language. My father provided well for us and although we had a house, car and other material things, I still kept to myself because I had no one to communicate with at home.
When I was 5 or 6 years old, my parents sent me to study at an oral school --- the Philippine Institute for the Deaf (PID). However, oral communication was not working for me because it didn't help in making me understand myself as a Deaf person. I felt stupid and very unhappy studying in an oral school.
I was made to copy what my teacher was saying, the way a parrot would copy what a person is saying, without me really understanding what I'm saying. For hours, I would be made to keep on repeating words I do not understand until my teacher is happy with how I say it. Time is spent on making me talk until my hearing teacher is satisfied with how good I sound but not on empowering me to learn a language that would enable me to understand myself better.
My throat was so painful whenever I had to practice oral communication. Since the words I pronounce are not clear, some of my hearing friends would laugh at me because I sound silly.
Do you want to be laughed at? Neither do I!
Although Deaf people can talk if they want to, perhaps it would be good to ask if oral communication achieves the goal of communication itself.
I believe the GOAL of COMMUNICATION is for people to understand each other.
In the case of oral communication, only the hearing person is able to understand the Deaf person. The Deaf person on the other hand is left guessing at what the others are saying 50% of the time because Deaf people cannot hear what is said. Therefore, Oral communication benefits the hearing person more than the Deaf person.
My parents decided to transfer me to the Philippine School for the Deaf (PSD) where sign language is used for communication. I felt very happy because using sign language for communication worked for me. That is why I use natural Filipino Sign Language or FSL because this is the official language of the Filipino Deaf Community. I did well in academics and activities. I have different talents like swimming, playing golf, encoding, handicraft, and basic computer skills. I joined many activities which I enjoyed so much!
My happy days did not last long because when I was 14 years old, my dad was diagnosed with cancer and he had to leave me to go back to Japan for medical treatment. He was already 90 years old and could not support my studies anymore. I became a poor girl.
I had to support myself by being a scholar from grade 5 until high school. Although my tuition fee was free, I had no means to support my food and transportation expenses. I walked from home to school and had no money for food. I lost a lot of weight and developed ulcers because I'd go to school without food for the day.
I did not want my classmates to know I was hungry because I don't want them to pity me knowing that I used to have enough baon when my father was still supporting me. I envied their baon and though I was crying inside as my stomach was churning in hunger, I had to be strong because I was alone then.
At this point in time, my brother, sister, and I had to fend for ourselves and for my lola who had bone cancer because my mother abandoned us. I took on encoding jobs from my teachers and would clean houses or fix files just to have extra money for allowance. When my sister, brother, and I had to leave the house for work or school, nobody was left to look after my lola who continued to suffer from the pains of bone cancer. My lola died, at home, alone.
It's been 10 years since I last saw my father and 3 years since I last saw my mother. Nobody is taking care of me and my siblings now except ourselves. We have to take on the responsibility of looking after each other.
Despite the odds, I managed to graduate valedictorian from high school at the Philippine School for the Deaf. I did not dream of going to college because I had no parents to support my college education. Lucky enough, I was able to get a scholarship from De La Salle-College of Saint Benilde where I am a consistent Dean's Lister and President of the Benildean Deaf Association. At first I was very troubled because I did not have funds to support my daily living expenses but the Rotary Club of Pasay gave me a monthly stipend for my expenses.
I also worked as a student assistant for one year and 3 months at the Center for Partnership and Development under SDEAS when I was in my 2nd and 3rd year in DLS-CSB. It was difficult to study, work and be involved in extra-curricular activities but I still chose to serve in the Benildean Deaf Association and Lasallian Ministry Program for the Deaf. During summers, I volunteer for the Summer of Service Program which gives training and workshops for Deaf students in the provinces as far as Ozamis in Mindanao.
In DLS-CSB, I learned about my identity as a Deaf person. Deaf with a big “D” means I am proud of my language and culture as a person. I am not ashamed of who I am and the language we use -- the Filipino Sign Language or FSL.
Let me take this chance to make this appeal to please call us Deaf and, as I've said earlier, Deaf with a capital “D”. Please do not call us hearing impaired, mute, deaf-mute, or pipi.
Look at me, am I deaf-mute or pipi? How come, I can laugh or make noise when I talk or laugh? I am not mute or pipi! You may call me Bingi because it is the Tagalog word for “Deaf”.
Am I hearing impaired? I was naturally born Deaf. How can I be sick or impaired? I am still able to communicate with my friends using FSL and I can write to communicate with hearing friends.
Am I deaf-dumb? How come I survived the struggles in my life if I am dumb? How can I graduate valedictorian if I am dumb?
Do you know that most of the Deaf people are very poor that they cannot study in schools for the Deaf? Do you feel pity for the Deaf person who does not have much option in life because he or she is poor?
Do you know that some Deaf people are blessed to have rich families such that they have all the ways and means to become productive persons? Do you think only rich Deaf persons have the opportunity to become better?
I believe that this is not true for all.
Look at my life, how I changed from a rich girl to a poor girl, but I survived. I became a better person because of what I experienced. My siblings and I survived on our own because we embraced our situation with humility and simplicity.
Do you want to know what happened to my daddy? Remember I told you I last saw him 10 years ago? The bitter truth is, I only learned in November 2009 that he already passed away in 2007.
I experienced depression upon learning this especially since my father never really said goodbye to me when he went back to Japan. I never had the chance to say goodbye and thank him for supporting my needs when I was a child and to tell him that I love him.
As for my mom, I do not know when I will ever see her again but in spite of leaving me and my siblings to fend for ourselves, I still love her for bringing me into this world and for loving and taking care of me when I was a child.
Being Deaf, having been abandoned by my parents and growing up as a Deaf woman, I could have easily committed suicide. However, I chose to learn the lessons from the bad things I had to go through in life. All my experiences taught me how to adjust my behavior. If I never experienced those things, I will not learn how to be self-confident.
Do you think that I stopped participating in organizations or in my community after going through all these things?
No. Now I am still actively serving and helping different organizations as President of the Benildean Deaf Association under DLS-CSB, as member of Philippine Federation of the Deaf-Youth Section and as the Secretary of Support and Empower Abused Deaf Children, Inc.
I am Deaf but I am very proud of my identity. I accept this as God’s gift. I am thankful to God that He gives me faith to become a strong Deaf woman who can do everything.
I always try to do my best for the future because I know God has the best plan for me.
In closing, I want to share with you something I learned from my Daddy and my Ninang Elena.
My dad said to me “Don’t wait for opportunity.” My Ninang Elena said to me “You become successful in life by always trying. You learn by making a lot of mistakes. If you never try, you will surely fail.”
I still keep these words of wisdom to help me through whatever struggles I have in my life.
I would also like to be able to support my family and hopefully support our Deaf community by providing accessibility and information for the Deaf.
I am grateful to God and I always pray. I pray for my dreams. My greatest dream is to become a good teacher of Deaf children. I dream to be able to help build the Deaf community in the Philippines. I want to work and serve at the same time by learning how to balance my time for myself and for others.
I wish you all can support our Deaf community and I also wish the Deaf and Hearing world would be one in promoting equality and dignity for all people.
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